Sunday, March 25, 2018
25/Secrets & Lies
Before my daughter Gillian died, I could take alcohol or leave it. Suddenly I wanted it. Fortunately, I remembered my beautiful and tragic Aunt Babe (Estaire), who died when I was a kid. They said she drank herself to death after her daughter died. Living alone, I made a rule: No drinking alone. Thank you, Aunt Babe.
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Poor Aunt Babe. I can understand that.
ReplyDeleteI drink alone, but no more than two glasses on pasta/chardonnay Thursdays.
That desire to drink passed eventually, and then "drinking alone" meant nothing more than sipping a little vodka on rare occasions when I needed help getting to sleep. I've never really enjoyed drinking by myself because it's more fun to have someone to talk to.
ReplyDeleteBut this became moot when my Lyme doctor told me alcohol produced a feeding frenzy in Lyme spirochetes. That was the end of drinking, period. I was surprised how little I missed it.
Hi Susan, thanks so much for your comment on my blog. I just discovered your 25 Secrets & lies.
ReplyDeleteWhen my daughter Nicole died unexpectedly from illness in October, 2016, I was devastated and although I didn't drink Scotch often, it pulled me through so I could sleep at night. During the day from the time I got up till it was time to go to bed I didn't had time to grieve and after all was done, I would fill a glass with ginger Ale and add a shot of Scotch. I know people frown on putting anything in a good 12 year old Scotch but I didn't care. I just needed a bit of letting myself feel my grief and loss and cry. While I was alone for 10 days while my husband and other daughter were in Scotland making arrangement to settle her estate and personal affairs, I worked at keeping the dairy farm going with my son and we had cows calving ever day.
Every day brought it own set of problems and my coping mechanism was to have a drink of Scotch before bed and that's what got me through. One drink was sufficient to relax me, better than sleeping pills. I don't need it anymore but occasionally, I have a drink of Scotch to toast my daughter Nicole. I drink wine from a wine making facility that I bottle but in moderation.
with a meal usually or when I get company. Like you, I like having company while I drink wine or Scotch.
Hugs, Julia
I can fully understand the desire. Avoiding it is one more testament to your strength.
ReplyDeletePoor Aunt Babe.
ReplyDelete